Monday, June 18, 2007
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reseach had shown that 85 % of the people will tend to hurt people around them when they get hurt. maybe i am one of them ba.. when ever i am sad or unhappy, i will tend to hurt ppl around mi. people i love and care. Sorry if i ever hurt u before, i am like other prople, i am a girl somehow. when ever i am hurt i just need someone to be there for mi. to console and cheer mi up. i know that u had tried your best, it just that i was really hard case for u.. i know that somehow u will come across and read this post... Dear, i wanna tell u that i really care for u although i hardly shown it out. I know u had done alot for mi. But i just cannot be your dream and perfect girl.. i had made you sad alot of time and make you unhappy, and i couldn't give you whatever you want.. Promise mi that one day, if you really meet a dream and perfect girl in your life.. Go after her and protect her.. be there for her, don't bother about mi. no matter if i cried till my eyes become sore.. Cause someday, i will come to realise that it wasn't your fault. Remember that there one time i go very moody, because 2 pair of my friend has broke up.. they told mi that being together for 4 year, once u grow up, your thinking will change.. I know myself. my bad point over right my good point. I was really afraid that u might choose to leave mi one day. there one poem htat i come across a few months back, 'when i first met u, i was afraid to hold u. when i hold u, i was afraid to lose u' But i wanna tell u that i really love u from the bottom of my heart. When ever i see u smile, i will be extra happy.. when i called u husband, i really hope that the day will ever arrive.. cause i cannot wait for that day to arrive.. really, i realy want to be with you everyday.. sorry for today bad temper and bad mood.. love u dear.

# posted by @d3lin3 | 11:00 PM | 0 comments


Thursday, June 07, 2007
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I hate being lonely and alone. That is y i love my handphone alot. Cause i always love to hear the music and being not that lonely and being in a familar place i called my own world.
I hate being ignore. But attention always goes to my sister who was good at studies and always recieving award. Attention goes to my brother who was the only male child in the family. There one time i had a fight with her telling her that she only care about them but not me.. She reply saying that 'ya so! the world is not fair any way..' soon i start to grow in this little world of mine. A world which i cannot be borther what happening outside. My friend told me that a family of 4 usually the perfect. I did not trust it at all.. But soon i realise it. my family took a photo of 4 in a neo print and they paste it on the family phone. That is y i hate to use my family phone or give my house number to my friend. i usually give them i hp number. A number i know it belong to me. I hate being in the house, cause i get use to living i my own world, i like/perfer to stay in my owm room. Hearing laughter outside make me more jealouse. That y i love to work. working whole day being at somewhere where ppl know i am there. My family stop celebrating my birthday when i was 12 year old. When my birthday comes, they treat it as normal day. When my bro and sis birthday, they always went out for a dinner giving them a treat.
But i got this bad habit, telling lies on how bliss my family are. In fact, that not really a lie. ya, they are bliss but that do not include me. But because i been growing up in these 10 years of being in my own world. I hardly learn to love ppl around me, or treat them very nicely.
I loves to put on a brave front when i not happy, or don't like it. I hate my cover, but looking at the bigger picure, i be able to cheer up or make ppl around me happy. some time, telling a white lie making ppl around me happy wasn't a bad thing.
I loves to kid around. cheering ppl around me happy cause when ever i see happy or smiling face, somehow i find meaning in my live. and i will be happy.

# posted by @d3lin3 | 7:35 PM | 0 comments