Monday, March 29, 2010
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getting abit worn out from the life i am leading now.. sometime using work to take up my time and numb myself is a goos choice. But human are human. We need someone to be there for us when we are feeling down, there to comfort us and accompany us. prehape no matter how strong you are, there still a weakness in me. Putting a brave front is an easy task for mi, putting on a smile even thought i not happy or worn out is not a problem for mi. Guess so far no one had seem throught mi yet. but there a inner mi that i wish people could see throught that i just faking a smile. human are really confuse people. one mintues you wish no one notice, another you wish someone see throught it.
Guess there one time where i really hate myself, that i try so hard to be my friend so that i could be well accept by people. the clothes she dress, the thing she like. the way she do thing. But i try too hard that it backfire. guess i still remember the words she said. 'y are you wearing like mi, same clothes.' , 'if u want you can have my boyfriend too' well that was rather hurting for mi. But guess she did not notice that i was just trying to be like her so that i could be accept by other. Guess i don't have the social skill that great as compare to other. if u ask what i hated that, i can tell you that will be myself. what i fear? i thought after so long of training i woul get use. nope.. answer is still alone.
Sometime, i use to think i am nothing but a unless bum. Now think i agree more to it. what i am great at, otherr are far more better then mi, far more. There nothing i am brag about. nothing to be proud of. Nothing to show off, Studies, loser i am. Social skill , wrost then anyone. Look? i hate my ownself. Talent? nothing but bullshit.

What in store in the future for mi, i don't know. But what i know is there a coffin right at the end waiting for mi. when will my journey end? i don't know either. All i know is i am counting toward the day it arrive.. seriuosly.

# posted by @d3lin3 | 2:16 PM | 0 comments