Monday, September 22, 2008
>What am i still thinking of.. what am i still looking into? nothing to be hold.. it time to let go.. but how far can i let it go? but if i hold on... how long can i hold on.. people do change. it amazing people can forget thing easily.. but y can't i do that.. maybe beacsue it hurt mi deeply.. i always scold people stupid.. think i should be rank first for stupid.
Just celebrate my birthday on friday.. thought that i would be happy.. But early in the moring.. when my mum knew my menu, i got a big scolding from her.. all my mood for the day is spolit.. I tried to be happy but i cannot.. so i decieded to PRETEND.. it hard but i cannot let my freind and relative see my sad face.. i don't even know when i started to learn to pretend.. when ?
adn i knew that he had gotten himself in a new relationship.. But y i still goes into his profile to see it.. y must i make myself so sad.. y must i make myself cry.. Y ?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
>i read it somewhere that said it always harder to speak your problem out then to write it out for someone to read. But it is also more effective to speak it out right to someone then to write it.. I tried... I gueese all of us heard before this sentence ' when you are feeling down, you can always give mi a call. I will always be ready to be your listening ear.' But really in this buzz and busy world, everyone is busy with their own life.. Busy with coming exam, project, meeting client and dateline of everything. Gueese maybe that was just a entertainment sentence.. A sentence that people use to be nice..
Whenever i feeling sad and looking for someone to talk to, i look throught my whole contact list.. I only found a few.. I call them, but some of them where in class or working, therefore they were unable to talk to mi. but by the time, they are free, i would already decided not to tell or already hide it in my heart and forcing myself to sleep to forget about this matter..
I keep telling mysle ' adeline, tomorrow sunsine will be better..... but how much better? i don't know.' All i know is i am walking on a endless road searching for a care and love which i lose it 18 year ago and also 2 year ago.
Monday, September 08, 2008
>tick tock, tick tock,every second, every mintues pass. and mi, so bored in the office, counting down to break time, counting down to off work time... In fact i am quite sleepy till i heard one news and i suddenly awake... i will be all by myself for this whole week... cause my sup went back malaysia for something urgent.. oh man.. don't feel like coming to work liao.. i will be bored to death... argh...
>Ia m feeling quite down yesterday night.. it was long queeue but i bid good bye and went off in a long queeue.. the kind of feelign is like throwing your friend to survive.. there only 1 sup, Anita and Saron.. roselindah was inside counting cashier money.. when i went insisde CC.. saron was inside playing with 1 of my cashier and only left Anita outside herself... But i was in a rush as my parent was here to fetch mi, but i really feeliing bad and wanted to said sorry to Anita.. When i having dinner with my parent then went back home, i thought i was tired, but when i lie on my bed, i could not fall asleep, maybe it because of the long queeue or what happen in the morning.. playing psp to try to make myself tired...
Monday, September 01, 2008
>i mean that... i mean it admit that it true... that i am really usless..i though through in a cab toward somewhere else after i did something wrong which cause my friend to be angry with mi and tell mi stright in my face in a mintues of anger... but look, i knew it true.. looking into my life.. what sucess had i achieve. i fail my 'n' level and need to retake second time... what was a simple exam and yet i can fail it.. great... i fail my 'o' level... spent 6 year in secondary... landed myself in ITE.. and just pass my ITE without getting great mark... Could not get into poly... Could not kept his heart... there nothing i had success.. if u were taking about a good/great friend friend i had.. i think that it not my success, it only kind of them to let mi be part of their world cause i am always doing something wrong that make them angry or a mess to let them clear up for mi... they were there for mi all time, but i was not a great friend for them.. so could anyone tell mi what my success when there isn't that i could think of..
