Friday, December 28, 2007
>'Last Christmas, i gave you my heart. and the very next day, you gave it away' sound like my story right?.. maybe that y i fall in love with it the mintues i heard it. this christmas, the best gift i had is not the gift i recieve or the value or the gift.. But it the time which everyone spend with mi the evening and night.. really grateful to everyone.. sometime, i agree that my lokes are really lame and stupid.. or sometime, i said thing too fast and might hurt you all... but really thank that u all did not bear any grudge against mi.. i really had alot of fun on 26 dec evening.. really enjoy it.. had abit of drink and went back home headache.. but that the only day i fall asleep fast and sweetly, and a day which i never drop any tear to get myself to sleep..
but i realise that i hate to have a whole day free.. i felt very uneasy when i wake up, maybe because there nothing to do ba plus slient in the whole house and my phone.. i really have to get use to it.. i really wish to go somewhere where i can find the old adeline again.. i wanna fall asleep and dream of my fairyland again, and be a happy person again.. someone who is not easily defeated by reality..
People always told mi that it will not work for us.. my friend all agree that i should not put in so much time in it.. but i believe in myself, i believe that i will get what i sow.. as long as i put in effort, thing will work out fine.. But i was too innocent, too stupid.. i should have trust everyone.. and now i regret.. sometime, you don't really get what u sow.. i learn not to put in too much effort and expectation in thing.. cause i am too fragile.. i am really afraid of getting hurt again.. i don't wanna get hurt again, i don't wanna drop any tear again.. i wanna my old life back.. but can i still find it? i don't know.. and i doubt so.. because everyone change as time goes by... even my family.. i started to find my enviroment unfamilar.. it seem so strange around mi.. everyone seem so stranger so far away...
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