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Don't know when it started.. music seem to be a part of my life now.. the moment i step out of my house, i start to put on my ear piece for music.. when i step out of my office back home, music.. when i feeling down, music.. when i am all alone music.. when i am working , music.. when i going to sleep, music.. maybe it wasn't the music i like, it the sound that keep my mind occupied.. i was afraid to show that i am alone or lonely..
i do anything to keep my mind occupied.. i rather work to death, tired to death then bored to death..
If i were to ask you what were you afraid of most ?
my answer is lonely,
people change due to enviroment, human factor... i do admit that i change.. for a better or worst? both factor..
the old mi loves to smile and laugh.. nothing seem to pull mi down.. and i always got a scolding from my friend that i not serious at all... too simple minded, people tend to take advantage of mi without mi realising it.. the mi now... hardly smile.. take too much thing in mind.. sometime take thing too serious... and my friend scold mi for keeping thing to myself and keep frowning.. and they said i hardly smile even if there a joke..
i am trying my best.. trying to be self confident.. trying to think that someone love mi and care for mi.. if u were to tell mi family.. i would tell u, if u were born in a family with sister who is a great scholar and a brother who the only male heir.. starting i thought it was just my only mind that pulling mi down.. but even month end, my mum would ask for money.. never mind, cause it should be my duty to give her.. but it all happen when i told her that i wanna study asking of dad could help mi pay half of it... my mother started to said that alot of people who start working who pay for their own school fee.. blar blar blar.. ok fine.. they pay for my sis uni, it okie, cause she will really study.. what i felt unfair is, she can pay for my sis rebonding.. my sis and brother facial.. my sis and brother phone bill.. and brother gaming set.. well, forgot about it.. earn my own, pay my own, manage my own.. all alone.. that y i am always afraid of lonely..
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