Thursday, January 28, 2010
>I went off working full time job and a part time job. It quite tiring for mi. I thought of saving tha amount for my master degree and future studies. But think it going to take mi quite a long time. Soon i will have to pay my housing loan with my CPF. it does not affect mi now as there no use to my CPF now. But thinking that my family cannot even support themselves really tired mi out. I really envy those parent who can support their kid to studies. But my cannot. I can only depend on myself to do the job.
I am 23 year old now.. it time i be abit more mature in my thinking. There really lots to worry in a adult life. thought like is there enough for the electricity bill?' 'Is there enough for the whole family to be alive keeping them well feed and studies?' 'is there additional wages to be going around?' alot of thought come in mind. A parent will try way to save for the kid.. Mi? i tried all the ways to earn to keep my family going and myself going.. I don't mind giving up few hour of rest time just to earn additional money. But a human need support to carry on.. How much longer can i hold on? i try my best to hold on till i really drain out.. but i don't give promise guys...
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
>Each and every of us just want to have a place for us to vent our anger on. I hardly talk to my parent. sometime i just felt that my job suck. I was always wondering why am i always doing all the job.. why other can relax but not me. They ask mi to help to serve water to patient. They said that they are in need of people. But why are they sitting in the office having breakfast or rather a cup of coffee and joking when i was slaving up there help them like a IDIOT!!!.. y??? Why does my work seem endless when other seem to have nothing to do ? I wanna vent my anger somewhere.. I hate conflict.. So in then end i can only suffer alone in my heart. Keeping my thought all to myself.. Maybe the part of the reason to my my tears is easily trigger. If i were to complain to my friend, normal answer will be 'quit la'.. who doesn't want? Everyone has time to go out for lunch. and even time for a cup of coffee and sit down to relax together. But mi ???? i even need to being my rice bowl infront of my com so that i can do and work together. So that i can complete the work in time. This job SUCK!!!
I depend on my music more and more often to keep me going.. It help mi feel that i am not alone. who doesn't know that ear piece hurt your ear drum? but what can i do without it?
Expecation is a bench mark for improvement. But it also a point to get hurt. So does promise.. Really hate the words promise.. Maybe i don't believe in promise anymore. When promise is being broke, it hurt and it never recover. Like if u were to use a axe to chop down a tree, after sometime, you decided not to chop it down. No matter how hard u try to take care of it, Giving it all your love. It wil never recover the mark that being chop. 2 time that promise is being broken. i know it wasn't any one fault. Maybe it just my own childish mind. Perhape it telling me that it time i out myself in my own world and shut down everyone around mi. It time to do it..
