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I was born with on one to bother about mi.. Being throw from one location to another (which is my thinking) was hard enough for mi to accept. i try to throw away this thinking... pretending hard to be happy and i had success. till he came along. he taught mi to open out and learn to speak. but before i master it, he leave. it really hurt.. it hurt really deep that i decided to shut it and double lock my life and my thought.
I admit that i was really jelouse of everyone around mi, their life, the attention they had, the love they got and attract..
i am really tired of pretending.. sorry if anyone of you find changes in mi. but the truth it that the real mi. i had to fight for thing in my life, believeing that no one will bother about mi even myself. i really hate myself to the core seriously. i am selfish. because my world only contain myself and mi. even when it come about money, feeling and thought. I keep it all to myself, cause i was afraid of getting hurt. i wanted hard for attention, i wanted hard for peopke to think that i am popular. but thought of selfishness never leave mi
One day, my friend will have a family and love one to care about. I will be lonely again.. that the truth that i am afraid of. but i knew i got to face it. that was y i perfer to be alone most of the time. cause i wanna get use to it first.. wanna numb my feeling before in face the truth. i don;t wanna cry anymore but i cannot stop the tear..
god, please help mi.. please...
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