Tuesday, October 19, 2010
>totally lost my mood today!! nothing for mi go smoothly.. nothing at all.. no one seem to notice a change in my tone at all.. no one..
'You ask me what was wrong, i reply with a smile nothing. But i turn my back and reply everything. ' I don't need you to understand my pain or sadness. I just need abit of attention to show that i am still being care and bother by someone. that all i ever need.
cannot believe that my parent mix up thing i like to eat with my sister. Guess they only remember my sister and brother. My sister don't eat prawn. I eat any seafood, and further more it my favourite. the order taker ask if we want prawn. My dad said it okie, cause only him and my mum take it. i was stumble with words.. nothing came out of my mouth. I shut it up. Like the way i shut my world up.
Thing wasn't going smoothly at work too.. got a scolding for a number of thing. thing that was not my fault. thing that i should be responsible for blah blah blah.. till i lost track of it.
wanna get drunk to get thought away so i will not felt that hurt i am feeling inside.
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
>Wednesday 6 Oct (9.49am)
Went out dinner with my work friend yeaterday. Had alot of laughter. the dinner was all right but not that fancy as we thought.
next tuesday is the dinner and dance for carrfour.. Last one for this company name.. got alot of regret for this name.. Kind of miss the fun and joy we use to had in it. But think i am going to really treasure this last dinner and dance.. Hoping that it will be a great one and memorable. Cannot wait till the day to arrive..
The following week after dinner and dance.. I am going drinking with my work friend.. First time drinking with them.. Location will be great world city.. Trying hard to mingle with them .. Cause there alot for mi to improve to catch up with them.. It really a different enviroment from all my other job. Other job there alot of youngster and there fun and joy.. Of course there lots of topic to disscuse.. But over here, i really don't know what topic to talk expect common topic.. Nothing can go wrong with common topic. And defintetly, there no bonding within mi and this Dept.. Carrfour i cannot let go because of the memories and bonding.. But here, i think i can easily go anytime.. Which mean it not very good.. Trying my best to work hard to getting this bonding closer..
Haha.. Finally after that week. It hong Kong week.. cannot wait for that day to arrive.. Ocean Park, i am coming.. haven change money for it yet.. Hoping it will be a great trip.
Time to work!!!
Friday, October 01, 2010
>It friday! it suppose to be fun and enjoyable.. but it children day tml.. what do i have to remember of children day?? nothing.. only bad memories. memories of family? nope.. childhood friend? yes.. kind of miss my ex neighbour.. she was like a big sister to us.. she was there when we needed her. She gaves us present on our birthday, at the same time she suprise us.. that the only memories i had of a kids.
Growing up in a enviroment that you got no one to believe but yourselves? not even your family or friends? i admint i kind of believe 2 person in my life. that him and another of my friend. But i was afraid being too close and opening up my world. was afraid getting it destroy it again..
Sometme, seeing her face, the angry anf frasted face. It make me depress.. was really blaming myself. nothing i done was right. Afraid of getting close but also afraid of losing it. I had nothing in my life except friends.. If i lose them, i really don't know what becoming of mi..
